As I review the evaluations from the previous assignment I was surprised that each of my participants scores were in close range to the scores that I received completing the same evaluations. For the verbal aggressiveness my average score was 51 which placed me in the low category. This category states that I am respectful of the viewpoints of others and intelligence of others, and attempt to change their minds with gentle, inoffensive suggestions that do not attack their self-concept. I agree with this statement because I personally do not like conflict. At times, I think this can be a down fault because others perceive this as a weakness and tend to try and take advantage of me. There have been incidences in my personal and professional life that I believe I should have stood up more for myself. Instead, I choose to almost take the easy way out and let the person believe and say whatever they wanted even though I believed they were totally wrong. However, I noticed that when I am pushed to a certain limit I tend to fly off the handle and become overly expressive then it takes me time to calm down.
In the next next category, Communication Anxiety my average score was 44 which places me in the mild category. This category states that I feel uneasy in some communication situations and somewhat more confident in other contexts. Communication does not seem to be something that you worry a great deal about. This is totally true and each of my respondents and myself had me scored in this category. I have to admit that I had to learn to become better at public speaking. I took a course in undergrad that helped me a lot. Now that I am grade level chair, and had been an union representative for several years I had to adjust to speaking in public. I never had a problem speaking to my parents and their families. I just have to remember to use correct English and try not to speak in slang.
The last category was Listening Styles, for this evaluation I fell in group 1. Group 1 states, I am people -oriented, I am empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. This listening style helps you build relationships, but it can interfere with proper judgment because you tend to be very trusting of others. This to me is positive and negative. I believe you should be empathetic and concerned for others. The problem I have is when others are not empathetic and concerned about me. In my personal life this is a struggle, and I have been in several relationships that failed because when I needed reciprocity no one was there. However, when the tables were turned they expected me to bend forwards and backwards to support them. In cases like this I eventually end up walking away and ending the relationship. The relationship becomes too stressful and I am usually unhappy.
I have to admit the people that I asked to complete the evaluations knew me better than what I thought they did. Their answers were right on point compared to mine. This totally surprised me because of their age differences and the capacity in which they know me.
From this assignment it made me aware about my self concept and the perceptions I have of others. Your self concept helps determines how you communicate with others and influence your perceptions of others. You based your judgments of others on your own experiences. It is something that happens naturally. Professionally and personally the two helps me realize my strengths and weaknesses, from that I can determine what I need to do to improve my relationships.
Very good post!
ReplyDeleteYou are right, sometimes others can push and push, thus causing us to fly off of the handle. I do not do that with anyone other than my own family, but through this assignment, I have learned I cannot do that, even with them.
Sadly, I am too trusting at times, and like you, I have had relationships feel because there was no reciprocity, but they always wanted me to do things for them.
I am certainly appreciative of this assignment; not only because I could evaluate myself, but I could see how others evaluated me, and allow me to make the necessary changes to become a more effective communicator.
This post was really great. I agree with you about communicating being a natural process. It is amazing that we need to have the self confidence and knowing ones self in order to communicate a message more effectively. I believe when you have the strength of self confidence behind your words, people will tend to follow you. Even if you are not 100 percent invested in the words you put out.
ReplyDeleteTarshia,
ReplyDeleteFirst I want to say that I love the picture you used at the top of this post. I also fell into Group 1 for listening styles. What I learned this week, specifically with the differences on how I was scored for communication anxiety is how different I am perceived to communicate professionally and personally while scoring myself in yet a third category. This assignment really allowed me to see how I can be perceived when communicating.
Tarshia,
ReplyDeleteI am the same way I would let people think what he or she wanted to think about me and I did not care what he or she thought. did not try to make him or her undertand what I was trying to say I would just say forget it. I am one also that would go off the handle if you take me there where you want to be disrespectful and talk to me any kind of way now I do not do it I have of a more of a calm attitude.